And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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