that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
