12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
