I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
