there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
