About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
