I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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