Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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