I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
