sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
