I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize