Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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