He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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