Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
