Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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