I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
