Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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