but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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