maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
