I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize