Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
