Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
