Can i not drive my cunt home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
