Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
