Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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