i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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