Fuck appropriateness.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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