She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
