is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
