just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize