your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we made out on top of his cat.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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