My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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