what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
