This girl is more easily done than said...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
