Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
