Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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