My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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