after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
