not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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