So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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