i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize