last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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