I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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