found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
