This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
