Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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