I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
