are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I smell stomach acid.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
