Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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