That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
