just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize