Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
