THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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