i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
