So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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