For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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