Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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